Love Is My Form – Memories of Sai Baba


Himy, an old friend of mine on FaceBook and a great supporter of this blog, wrote the following account for this blog,  back when Swami was alive. I loved it so much, I am re-posting it today.

I understand exactly how Himy felt that far off day in 1999, when Swami gave him close Darshan. I often felt the same way too during darshan! 

In this small story, Himy tells how he had mentally told Baba earlier that day, “I don’t want anything” and Swami, as always, knew exactly what Himy had thought. Himy tells us in this story, “I didn’t even get a bit of the vibuthi  Swami made”.  Likewise, I, too, was always telling Sai Baba, “I do not want anything”, then while at Darshan, I would end up at the back of the hall, often where I could not see him!  Often in those early days, I would end up crying because of his lack of attention towards me. I never much thought that Swami was giving me exactly what I’d asked him for! Although, there’s never “nothing” with Swami – the Darshans were deep and  always filled with light and wonder. He was always, until the very end, radiant and sublime, and as a result, we came away from Darshan filled to the brim. – Eve




I Only Wanted Swami To Talk To Me! – Himy’s Darshan Story

On one of my visits to Puttaparthi, I had a really great experience with Swami. (I think it was during 1999). I was feeling very down and out.
I was feeling very small and insignificant and unworthy, even when talking to people.  I was just keeping to myself. Then I prayed to Baba to talk to me because that would make me feel better and worthy of being talked to by others also. With that thought, I went inside Sai Kulwant hall after having drawn 4th token (or something near to that number.) And I was sitting in the second row in darshan on the men’s side.

Then the music started and Baba  came out from the Poornachandra Auditorium. He used to walk then. He shuffled forward taking letters, blessing sweet trays. Finally he was opposite my row. He spoke to someone there.  Then He suddenly turned towards our side. There was a Russian sitting  in front of me.  Baba said something to him. Then suddenly He was looking at me and  saying something  in Telugu (I think – because I heard something like “neevu” which is a Telugu word). My head was spinning. I couldn’t believe Baba was talking to me !! At the same time the thought passed though my head “could Baba be mistaking me for some other guy, some Telugu guy”? I dismissed that thought as soon as it came because I knew that  Baba knows everything. He doesn’t make mistakes. Then Baba repeated what he must have said earlier, in English.  He said “Where have you come from ?” I was still too stunned to reply. Baba spoke a third time.  This time in Hindi. He said “Keedhar se aayaa?” meaning again  “where  had I come from.” I managed to say:  “SAI, Mumbai”. Then Baba threw up His hands in the air as if I had given the wrong answer and He said “Oh!! Bombay!”

Then He proceeded to make vibhuti right in front of me and gave some to a Telugu farmer sitting next to me. Others nearby  stretched out their hands and Baba kept giving vibhuti to all. Finally, I also picked up the courage to stretch my hands out for vibhuti. But Baba just turned away. When i was praying to Baba earlier in the day, I had told him that “I dont want vibhuti or anything else,  Baba,  please just talk to me.”

By turning away Baba displayed His omniscience. He proved to me that He knew my thoughts.  What a proof !! I sat there with tears flowing down my cheeks and couldn’t stop crying long after darshan. People would just look at me and I was not able to say anything. They just nodded, knowingly, and said “Ananda” meaning bliss! Baba does hear and answer our prayers. He knows everything.

From Himy

9 thoughts on “Love Is My Form – Memories of Sai Baba

  1. Lovely and INSIGHTFUL article sharing the TRUTH of the paranormal powers that Bhagavan demonstrated during Darshan. Nice intro. by Eve. I too have similar experiences during Darshan of Bhagavan.

    The very interesting aspect is that it was done without any theatrics whatever. [I mean, whenever I have seen movies/videos about miracles performed by saints & avatars, there would be some dramatic action & music at the time the miracle was shown :-). So perhaps some part of me expected something like that with Bhagavan’s miracles/miraculous powers at least in my initial experiences of seeing & experiencing them.] It was done in a very casual ordinary action kind of way. Swami would show in a casual way to the devotee that he KNOWS what the devotee has prayed for and what he/she is doing. It was upto the devotee to REALIZE the significance of the event and, very importantly, strengthen his/her faith that Swami would simply know everything about a person, at least when one is sitting in darshan in His physical presence, and that Swami would respond to fervent prayers made. What a DIVINE BEING that physical body was! Only those who have experienced such events with Bhagavan will be able to really believe and relate to such incidents.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Eve. Agree with most of your comment except the whimsical part. I think he had his criteria for his interactions though it was very difficult for us to understand that criteria, and so, outwardly the impression was that he was unpredictable and whimsical. I will say this about him. In what I have seen and heard about him, for spiritual matters, he never let down his sincere followers & devotees. He would go really out of his way to spiritually help his sincere followers & devotees. For me, he has never failed me as a spiritual guide (guru) even when he disciplined me. He was one hundred percent true and faithful to me as a guru, and for that I am very, very deeply grateful to him and I love him like crazy (though it took the trauma of the Mahasamadhi for me to realize how much I really love him for his direct & indirect guidance and love that he showered on me).


        1. Thanks Ravi, not whimsical in the way of being unsure. – I should have said he was etherial and one could never pin Swami down, try as we may. He was not fooled. He was always 9 steps ahead of the game. I’ll never forget the first time I saw him in Oct. 1990. He came out from the temple looking stern, and very serious indeed. – He never smiled. He walked right by us at darshan, without as much as a glimpse. I remember most of the trip was like that. I had moments with him but they seemed to go by so quickly, that by the end of the trip, I felt I had missed something. I did not though. For the next six months, I was in a kind of deed meditation that I could not really express or explain to anyone. I did not have an interview with him. No physical word had been spoken between us. There was nothing happening on the outside, so to speak, but inside it was all happening.. Sa
          i Ram eve

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Eve, I put up a blog post referring to this post of yours here:
            In that blog post an additional point I made is as follows:
            I guess Eve’s “I do not want anything” prayer to Bhagavan would have been very well understood by Bhagavan as a prayer where she does not want anything at the material/physical level like vibhuti or Swami attention, but His Grace from his physical body would have showered on her too in the Darshan hall which perhaps was what she was really wanting (even though she did not articulate it in her prayers to Bhagavan), leading her to feel being “filled with light and wonder”.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. yes – very good to put it that way. I must admit while there in thoe early days, I always asked for nothing, not quite comprehending it would be no attn. or no vibuthi or anything. I don’t think many of us understood how seriously Swami took our requests. I never much thought about it at the time, other than, i was sort of missing out and didn’t understand why i was. We need to be careful for what we ask of a guru, that is for sure. eve

            Liked by 1 person

  2. LESSONS FROM GOD : Sai Baba , why do you wave your hand

    Sai Baba spoke to me telepathically for the 2 weeks I was with him in the Ashram.
    Telepathy does exist ! Our masters do not need to meet each other.
    They commune in telepathy.
    Baba often waves
    his hand around during Darshan .
    Have you ever wondered the reason behind this waving ?
    LESSONS FROM GOD : Sai Baba , why do you wave your hand

    I was sitting in Baba’s Bangalore Ashram Hall.
    I noticed a strange phenomena every time Sai Baba waved his hand,
    the Air around him started shimmering and pulsating.
    “Baba, why are you waving your hand, surely you will become tired !
    I spoke mentally to Baba.
    He suddenly looked straight into my eyes across the Hall, where thousands of devotees sat around me and waved his hand towards me.

    As he waved his hand I was covered in Jasmine Fragrance.
    The heavenly fragrance was amazing & a cloud of worries also lifted from me.
    After this episode..whenever I was in the Hall, every time Baba waved his hand it covered me with his fragrance.

    Baba spoke, “Amarjit, every time I wave my hand I remove Karma and
    suffering from my devotees. However, the extent of this healing also is dependant on how much Sadhana my devotee has carried out.

    It was still very difficult for me to come to the understanding that
    whatever I thought, Sai Baba knew my thoughts and answered my
    question instantly.
    Baba, “Its is beyond your understanding who or what I am !,
    I realise I am God do you?

    Liked by 1 person

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